Comments on: Overwhelmed, but surviving… http://sonjayatandon.com/05-2007/overwhelmed-but-surviving/ ...tales of a software curmudgeon Sat, 04 Feb 2012 12:36:53 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.1 by: ElizabethN http://sonjayatandon.com/05-2007/overwhelmed-but-surviving/#comment-3603 Sun, 27 May 2007 23:17:28 +0000 http://sonjayatandon.com/05-2007/overwhelmed-but-surviving/#comment-3603 Sonjaya and Tanya, It's so clear that you have the love and the patience to nurture your new family. I can't even imagine what you're going through with Dascha, AND I can't thank you enough for your candor and courage in sharing your experience and challenges with all of us. Our hearts and prayers are with you and the children as you bring the love and nurturing to their lives that they have needed for so long. And make sure to take care of yourselves. Sonjaya and Tanya,

It’s so clear that you have the love and the patience to nurture your new family. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through with Dascha, AND I can’t thank you enough for your candor and courage in sharing your experience and challenges with all of us.

Our hearts and prayers are with you and the children as you bring the love and nurturing to their lives that they have needed for so long.

And make sure to take care of yourselves.

]]> by: ajelden http://sonjayatandon.com/05-2007/overwhelmed-but-surviving/#comment-3573 Mon, 21 May 2007 21:45:15 +0000 http://sonjayatandon.com/05-2007/overwhelmed-but-surviving/#comment-3573 Sonjaya and Tanya, Hang in there. You have opened your hearts to these children and have done so much for them. I know that what you are going through right now is far tougher than I could imagine. I know it's hard but your two beautiful children are much better off thanks to your kindness, and, over time, they will realize how much you have given them and be grateful to you both. Alan Jelden Sonjaya and Tanya,

Hang in there. You have opened your hearts to these children and have done so much for them. I know that what you are going through right now is far tougher than I could imagine. I know it’s hard but your two beautiful children are much better off thanks to your kindness, and, over time, they will realize how much you have given them and be grateful to you both.

Alan Jelden

]]> by: sonjaya http://sonjayatandon.com/05-2007/overwhelmed-but-surviving/#comment-3570 Wed, 16 May 2007 17:42:25 +0000 http://sonjayatandon.com/05-2007/overwhelmed-but-surviving/#comment-3570 Thanks mom and Ronda :) So far, this has been a really good week. We talked with Brent and he mentioned to us that because the children had so many external controls, once removed, they really have no impulse control -- one of they ways that can manifest itself is in rage (though ours was an extreme case). Ronda, you children are Nikolai's age, so hopefully they will adjust similarly -- though you do have the challenge of them getting used to each other. Bed times and nap times will be tough -- but you have the advantage that they are still small enough that they can't climb out of the crib. When you put them to sleep -- it is ok to spend 5-10 minutes stroking them and singing to them -- but after that, probably best to get out of eyeshot and let them cry/scream themselves to sleep. It has only been the last couple of nights that Nikolai finally fell asleep w/out crying. When you get home expect it to be tougher by far than what you expected (if that is all possible). There may be days you just want to run away -- it's ok to feel that way (just don't run away :P) -- you and Lewis are in it together and we are a phone/email away -- you will get through it. Also, while you wait -- we are always here. Thanks mom and Ronda :)

So far, this has been a really good week. We talked with Brent and he mentioned to us that because the children had so many external controls, once removed, they really have no impulse control — one of they ways that can manifest itself is in rage (though ours was an extreme case).

Ronda, you children are Nikolai’s age, so hopefully they will adjust similarly — though you do have the challenge of them getting used to each other.

Bed times and nap times will be tough — but you have the advantage that they are still small enough that they can’t climb out of the crib.

When you put them to sleep — it is ok to spend 5-10 minutes stroking them and singing to them — but after that, probably best to get out of eyeshot and let them cry/scream themselves to sleep. It has only been the last couple of nights that Nikolai finally fell asleep w/out crying.

When you get home expect it to be tougher by far than what you expected (if that is all possible). There may be days you just want to run away — it’s ok to feel that way (just don’t run away :P ) — you and Lewis are in it together and we are a phone/email away — you will get through it.

Also, while you wait — we are always here.

]]> by: Ronda Farrell http://sonjayatandon.com/05-2007/overwhelmed-but-surviving/#comment-3569 Wed, 16 May 2007 15:07:33 +0000 http://sonjayatandon.com/05-2007/overwhelmed-but-surviving/#comment-3569 My heart goes out to you, Tanya and the kids as you make this difficult transition. Your strength and determination are inspiring to those of us following close behind. Hold fast to the good times, the memories of the laughter as you played in the music room and the smiles and joy of little Nickolia. Your language skills are getting better and so are Dasha's. Soon the communication may ease the difficulties and gradually Dasha's greiving and need for control may fade. Know we're here and understand if you need to vent or just need a sounding board. We're not in the soup yet but with all the books we've read we surely understand. Ronda My heart goes out to you, Tanya and the kids as you make this difficult transition. Your strength and determination are inspiring to those of us following close behind.
Hold fast to the good times, the memories of the laughter as you played in the music room and the smiles and joy of little Nickolia. Your language skills are getting better and so are Dasha’s. Soon the communication may ease the difficulties and gradually Dasha’s greiving and need for control may fade. Know we’re here and understand if you need to vent or just need a sounding board. We’re not in the soup yet but with all the books we’ve read we surely understand.
Ronda

]]> by: mamarose http://sonjayatandon.com/05-2007/overwhelmed-but-surviving/#comment-3566 Tue, 15 May 2007 00:39:13 +0000 http://sonjayatandon.com/05-2007/overwhelmed-but-surviving/#comment-3566 I know you both. You have what this child needs. You have remained loving during your shock, sane through her rages. Experience will give you more and more skills to help her through the difficult times....but experience will never ever be able to be more important than an enduring, kind, patient and loving heart. It has to start with the heart. Love and support to you both, I am counting the days until I can come to you. More love...and patience...and endurance....and ...occasionally laughter. May you life have a bit of laughter during the darkest time. Mom I know you both. You have what this child needs.
You have remained loving during your shock, sane through her rages. Experience will give you more and more skills to help her through the difficult times….but experience will never ever be able to be more important than an enduring, kind, patient and loving heart.
It has to start with the heart.

Love and support to you both,
I am counting the days until I can come to you.
More love…and patience…and endurance….and …occasionally laughter. May you life have a bit of laughter during the darkest time.
Mom

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